I am not a Buddhist (or at least I don’t think of myself as one) but the meditation practices I have learned have all come from Buddhist teachers. Some of the techniques are quite physical, focussed on posture, breathing walking and awareness of the surrounding space. Others are very psychological, such as awareness of our mental and emotional states. Yet others are quite philosophical, such as reflections about the nature of our self.

There is one which I have found very powerful and insightful. Moreover, it is applicable in almost any spiritual or even mundane setting where we are trying to understand qualities of practice, of mind or behaviour. This is the concept of near and far enemies.

Chenrezig, the bodhisattva of compassion

Near and far enemies are part of the concept of the Brahmaviharas - the sublime attitudes, or, as South East Asian friends know them, the four immeasurables. The Brahmaviharas are four states of mind, considered to be the highest form of human emotion: kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity. In various practices we learn to develop these qualities, in so far as we can. It’s not that easy!

Every attitude of the four - kindness, compassion, appreciative joy and equanimity - has a near enemy and a far enemy. The far enemies of the Brahmaviharas are quite simply the opposite emotions or mindsets. So, the far enemy of kindness is ill-will or hatred, a desire to harm, rather than good-will and a desire to help. But the near enemy of kindness is subtle: it is attachment, which looks and feels like good-will, but in fact is rather self-centred. We wish well for others because we are attached to them and so their happiness is, in fact, good for us. This is not quite so altruistic, is it?

Similarly, the near enemy of compassion is pity, which appears to be similar to compassion, but which is characterised by feelings of superiority (I’m lucky not be him) and a desire to help others out of a sense of obligation (I really should help her) whereas true compassion is characterised by empathy and a deep desire to relieve the suffering of others. When your child falls and hurts herself, you don’t feel lucky it’s not you with a scraped knee and you don’t feel a duty to help: you help because of an outpouring of compassion, not pity.

As Sri Aurobindo (also not a Buddhist) said:
… pity for others is not always born of love for its object. It is sometimes a self-regarding shrinking from the sight of pain; sometimes the rich man's contemptuous dole to the pauper. Develop rather God's divine compassion than human pity.

Enemies at work

As I said earlier, I find this concept very useful in all sorts of situations, away from the meditation cushion or the spiritual life. I find far enemies, which are simply opposite, easy enough to spot, but the practice of noticing them is very valuable.

Near enemies are subtly, deceptively (almost seductively) similar to worthy goals and require more thought to identify, but when you do they can be really eye-opening.

For example, I was working with a team recently who had some real challenges in making their software accessible for a diverse range of users. Their solution, well-intended, was a high degree of customization, so colours, sounds, inputs, and every other imaginable feature could be configured for any user’s need. But it turned out that customization was the near enemy of accessibility. It appeared thoughtful, but it involved a ton of work for the user.

To put it another way, customization is characterized by a focus on individual preferences, whereas accessibility is characterized by a focus on inclusiveness and the ability to accommodate the needs of all users, regardless of ability.

Simplicity is a virtue many designers strive for, but simplicity too has its near enemies. One near enemy of simple is easy. Easy takes away complexity, but also takes away other interactions. Similarly, minimalism may be a near enemy of simplicity. Minimalism is characterised by a focus on stripping away all unnecessary elements even to the point where a user may be left wondering what to do, whereas simplicity is characterised by a focus on clarity and the ability to solve problems in a straightforward and intuitive way.

For myself, I find this way of shifting my focus to see potentially damaging undercurrents in my own best intentions very valuable. I’d be fascinated to hear of examples you think of.

Creative Differences

Near and far enemies